Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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