I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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