Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They have beer where we have blood.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
