you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
