How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
