Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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