You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
