how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
