she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
