3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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