You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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