i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
