i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're a waste of cheezeits
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
