I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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