I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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