If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
