yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
