Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sober January is a disaster.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
