Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
