The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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