So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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