i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
