Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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