i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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