At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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