eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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