I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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