You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
