I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
