She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
