turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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