i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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