The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
