ugly people sure do ruin things
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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