'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
