Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You ate ashes out of my bong
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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