We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
