good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
