If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
