Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
