Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
