I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
