thus making me awesome and them whores
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
