Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
