i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
