my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
