so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
