we're chasing vodka with high fives
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
