I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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