Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
