I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i think im in europe. pls send help
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
