just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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