its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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